Shadrach, Apply Now!
Email I received:
Subject: 5.00 stars. 2 ratings. Published February 20, 2026 — 3 months, ago. And a perfect-scored book that no one has found. Here's what's costing you readers.
Hi Kira Lorne,
I just came across The Bunkhouse Season, and I need to tell you something that most marketers won't:
You have a book — 116 pages — with a perfect 5.00 star average and only 2 ratings. Published February 20, 2026 — which is 3months ago.
But here is what those numbers don't tell you: this is not a reflection of your writing. It is a reflection of a discoverability stall in the critical post-launch window for a book that has a perfect score…..
It goes on, for a long while about how Mr. Shadrach McLaren from a well known ...agency? has to offer me…
We all get these emails right? I’m assuming I’m not the only lucky one with this much attention.
Its ends with…
…One Final Truth
Your book has a perfect 5.00 average. 2 ratings. Published over 2 months ago. 116 pages.
Add a description to your Goodreads page. Today.
Then reply with that description — and we will build a roadmap to get The Bunkhouse Season into the hands of the readers who will love it.
Warmly, urgently,
Shadrach McLaren.
So, I decided to help Mr. Shadrach…he’s a very helpful man…
Hi Shadrach,
Thank you for your email. Let me tell you something that most authors won't:
You are one of approximately fifty people who emailed me this week with this exact pitch. I have read it so many times I can recite the part about the post-launch window from memory. I know about the algorithm. I know about the 1-4 month window. I know, Shadrach.
But here is the critical issue you missed:
I am not on Amazon.
I know. I know. Take a breath.
You didn't search for my name on Amazon before sending this. If you had, you would have found one of my books cross-listed with a dessert recipe collection — and I will pay you actual money to fix that, no questions asked, that's a real offer.
But here's the thing.
You have contacts. You have urgency. You have formatting.
I have a counter-proposal.
---
The Counter-Proposal (Read This Now)
You and your colleagues — and I know there are at least fifty of you, possibly more, you people are organized — each know fifty people. That is 2,500 potential readers. People with eyes. People with disposable income. People who are, statistically, bored right now.
Here is what I'm offering:
Pick a country. Any country. You want Germany? Germany is yours. You want Malaysia? Malaysia has never had a Kira Lorne regional sales representative and frankly that's a gap in the market. Pakistan. The Netherlands. Wherever your contacts are deepest and your ambition is highest.
You sell my book there. I give you ten percent of every sale that originates from your territory. You have a monopoly. A MONOPOLY, Shadrach. On an entire country. For romance novels.
You make money. I make money. You have a title now. "European Sales Director." Put it on LinkedIn.
---
Why You Must Act Right Now — The Window Is Still Open (For Now)
If you act NOW:
· You get first pick of territories.
· Germany, France, and the UK are still available.
· You are still in the early-adopter window.
If you wait 30 days:
· Someone else has already claimed the Benelux region.
· You are looking at secondary markets.
If you wait 90 days:
· You're selling in a landlocked country with no coastline and limited broadband.
If you wait 4 months:
· Shadrach. Come on.
---
I will repeat this offer three more times so you understand the urgency.
Pick a country. Ten percent. You own it.
Pick a country. Ten percent. You own it.
Pick a country. Ten percent. You own it.
Pick a country. Ten percent. You own it.
---
One Final Truth
You have contacts. I have books. This is a solvable problem.
Reply with your preferred territory and we will build a roadmap.
Warmly, urgently,
Kira Lorne
Black Orchid Press
(The dessert recipe thing is a real offer. Fix that and I will absolutely pay you.)
I mean, I think, it’s a fair offer 😊