Neither Sweet Nor Swoony Enough
OK, so. OK.
Kira is upset, in her Kira way. She's got her headphones on, tip-tapping away at the keyboard, but I can hear the music. It's Cyndi Lauper. "Time After Time." Her go-to "the world is too much for me" home cooking.
I know what she's upset about. I think it's a little humorous, so I do what I do. We'll write about it.
Kira woke me up this morning to tell me she was kicked out of Inkitt's "Sweet and Swoony" contest. In short, the Inkitt team determined she was neither sweet nor swoony enough for their tastes. The book in question was "Curtis and the Wanting of Princess ZipZap," a title that has itself caused considerable disagreement here at the Kira household. I thought the title was too YA. Too "sweet," arguably, for a novel about a rather rogue girl trying to find her comfort zone in a new relationship, which she does by basically torturing the guy involved. A Kira novel at heart, with a weird name.
The book is not "sweet" nor "swoony" by my descriptions, but Kira believes it is. Let's face it, sweet and swoony are abstract terms in the first place. Kira's version of sweet is a vibrator set to 3. My version of sweet is a bouquet of roses and sharing a hot dog. You can see the grey areas in those two interpretations of the same idea.
But Kira is, well, Kira. She goes to war when the junk mail is addressed to "Household Resident" instead of her specifically. This is a woman who keeps receipts on perceived slights from institutions that don't know she exists. And now, "you say go slow, I fall behind..." Cyndi knows. This is a tragedy.
I look up to check on her. Her desk is across the room from mine. She's ignoring me, which is unusual in itself. Rejection to Kira is like throwing water on the Wicked Witch. She melts, physically. It breaks my heart and is humorous at the same time.
I should mention here: the book was removed from the contest because it contains a few sex scenes. Not overtly erotic by any standard, but it's a usual Kira book. Perky girl, slightly damaged, finds slightly damaged boy, they work through their problems in comedic or dramatic situations, make up, break up, make up physically, repeatedly. It's a format that has worked for her. The contest rules clearly state no detailed sex scenes. Fading to black is fine. Suggested intimacy is fine. Evidently those are the criteria for "Sweet and/or Swoony." Kira disagrees. Her pink kitten stress ball, worn from similar incidents, is paying the price this morning.
She's muttered more than a few times that nothing can be sweet, swoony, or fun without some physical attraction, which I think is fair. Neither of us are particularly drawn to dark, brooding, male-dominated romance. Kira believes that swoony usually ends up on a soft surface of some type. That's probably where Kira and the wider world begin to diverge.
I think this actually is sweet and swoony. She's just pouting, and maybe that's all that will come of this. Kira will be over it by lunch. Our lawn care guy will pay the price for this outrage in some indirect way I won't be able to predict or prevent. But by 3pm, Kira will be back to her usual music.
As I look at her across the room, mangling her little pink kitten stress ball, the words repeat in my head. "If you fall, I will catch you. I'll be waiting. Time after time."
Cyndi knows. Kira will be OK.
And Inkitt, "Sweet and Swoony" can mean a lot of things. I mean, let's face it. You're a site known for werewolf romance and mafia domination kinks. But I get it. Rules are rules.
By noon she'll be bouncing to "Rock the Kasbah."
Kira is resilient.