The Adult Convention and Other Girthy Matters

Working Title

A Kira Lorne Novel

Black Orchid Press

She had the slides. She had the talking points. She had a brand new blazer.

Story Pitch

Hadley Marsh is thirty-one, twice divorced, and running on dry shampoo, airport wine, and the specific kind of optimism that only survives in people who absolutely should know better by now.

She didn't plan to be here. Not at this stage of her life. Not with two failed marriages behind her, one of which she burned down herself, and a drinking habit that her therapist calls "a coping mechanism" and Hadley calls "Tuesday."

But here she is. Senior Product Specialist at Velour Industries. Pleasure. Engineered.

It's a real job. A good job actually. She's good at it, when she's functioning. And right now Velour needs their best person in Las Vegas for the Adult Entertainment Expo, standing at a podium in front of five hundred industry professionals, delivering the keynote presentation for their newest flagship product.

The Girthalizer Stretch 15.

Hadley has the slides. Hadley has the talking points. Hadley has a brand new blazer and three days to hold herself together in a city specifically designed to make that impossible.

What Hadley doesn't have is any business being in the same building as Nace Corbin. Her second ex-husband. The one she cheated on. The one she's been quietly, desperately hoping might take her back if she could just find the right moment, the right words, the right version of herself that doesn't keep making the same catastrophic choices.

What she also didn't account for: Nace has moved on. Completely. Visibly. He's here representing his new company, presenting his own talk on latex composite materials, and he brought his girlfriend. Who is sweet. And pretty. And completely, aggressively normal in all the ways Hadley has never managed to be.

That's fine. Hadley is fine.

She has Becky.

Becky Dominguez, known professionally as Becky Blows, OnlyFans favorite, sometime performer, full-time conspiracy of one. Becky has worked adjacent to Velour for three years, knows everyone in the industry by first name and occasionally by other identifying information, and believes completely and without reservation in every single one of Hadley's plans. This is both her greatest quality and her most catastrophic flaw.

Becky is not a good influence. Becky is a great friend. These are different things.

Together they navigate the Adult Entertainment Expo the way they navigate everything: Becky pointing enthusiastically at every attractive person in a fifty-foot radius, Hadley trying to maintain professional dignity, both of them failing in increasingly spectacular ways.

And then Hadley walks face-first into Blair Covington.

Blair is exactly the wrong kind of man for someone in Hadley's current condition. Wealthy, unhurried, effortlessly put together in the way that suggests he has never once been flustered by anything. He produces and invests in adult entertainment projects without appearing to particularly need the money, which gives him a strange remove from the chaos of the convention floor that Hadley finds immediately, inconveniently attractive.

He is also apparently friends with Becky, which explains nothing and somehow explains everything.

Their first conversation lasts approximately forty-five seconds and ends with Hadley announcing her sexual preferences to a man she has never met while Becky pretends to be somewhere else entirely.

Blair finds this charming.

This is a problem.

Because Hadley is still watching Nace across the convention floor. Still cataloguing every smile he gives the girlfriend. Still carrying the specific guilt of a woman who knows exactly why her marriage ended and cannot stop returning to the wreckage of it looking for something she left behind.

She doesn't have room for Blair Covington.

She doesn't have room for the way he finds her in hallways when she's spiraling. Or the way he listens, actually listens, without trying to fix or manage or smooth her down into something easier. Or the way he laughs at her, not meanly, just like she's genuinely the most interesting disruption in a room full of people performing interesting.

The convention runs three days.

Three Days

Day One: Hadley arrives. Sees Nace. Sees the girlfriend. Has several drinks. Meets Blair face-first in a hallway. Says something catastrophic. Becky enables everything.

Night One: Back in the room. Hadley and Becky, post-sushi, the thing they do. Becky falls asleep holding Hadley's hand and starts reciting Where the Wild Things Are. Except Max is a queen now. And Sally -- Becky's girlfriend -- has been written into the story, because even asleep, Becky writes Sally into everything. The wild rumpus starts. Then stops. The wild things freeze. Becky mutters, low and firm: no. bad thing. bad bad thing. not that. Hadley. No. Tell the nice man you like his coat. Then a beat of silence. Then the rumpus starts again like nothing happened. Hadley lies in the dark, cry-laughing, trying not to wake her. She thinks: you were the anal queen of the wild things three seconds ago and I'm the bad one for slipping up with the guy in the coat. Such a double standard. She brushes the hair from Becky's face. Pulls the sheets up. Stays awake a little longer, listening to Becky love Sally in her sleep.

Day Two: The professional and personal disaster escalates simultaneously. Becky acquires allies. Nace is professionally impressive and personally unavailable. Blair keeps appearing. Hadley keeps saying the wrong thing for reasons that are starting to feel less like anxiety and more like something she doesn't want to name yet.

Day Three: The Girthalizer presentation. Five hundred people. One podium. One product demo. One Hadley, running on convention adrenaline, whatever she drank last night, and the specific energy of a woman who has made several questionable decisions and is about to make several more.

It starts professional.

It does not stay professional.

By the time the Girthalizer Stretch 15 has been introduced, mispronounced four times, demonstrated in a way that was not in the slide deck, and cheered on by a section of adult entertainers led by Becky Blows in the third row, Hadley will have either destroyed her career or accidentally become the most beloved product presenter in Velour Industries history.

Possibly both.

Blair watches the whole thing from the back of the room with his arms crossed and a smile he doesn't bother hiding.

That's the moment Hadley stops thinking about Nace.

Not because Nace stops mattering. But because she finally understands the difference between running back to something familiar because it's safe, and running toward something terrifying because it's real.

Hadley Marsh has been outrunning herself for thirty-one years.

Las Vegas is where she finally trips.

And the right person is standing there when she lands.

Flash Forward: One Year Later

Hadley handles talent for Blair now. She's good at it. She's functioning.

She and Becky still do lunch.

"So..." Hadley said, loading it carefully. "I hate to ask. How's work going?"

"Swell." Becky stabbed a piece of salmon. "Awesome. God, the openings I've seen lately."

"BECKY."

Becky looked up. "What?"

"God, I swear, if I ever meet your parents I'm going to --"

"What?" Becky said again. "I'm talking about job openings. I'm looking for a new thing to do."

Hadley sat with that for a moment.

"You hurt my brain. Why do I try."

"So." Becky set down her fork. "A new job. Can I actually do that? I mean, I'm not exactly... camouflaged."

She looked down at herself. Half lingerie, half daisy dukes, tiny tied blouse. She wiggled her breasts out approximately one centimeter further and looked back up.

"What. Too stuck up?"

Hadley smiled. "No. It's perfect."

Silence.

"I know," Becky said. "I'm teasing. I know how to dress for an interview." She picked up her fork again. "I don't know. You and Blair kind of changed things for me. You're happy. Like... boring life happy. You don't look as cute anymore."

"What?"

"You don't wear cute clothes anymore."

"Wait -- hey. Rude. This is cute. It's Target."

Becky looked at the ceiling. Smiled.

"You don't have great sex anymore."

Hadley smiled into her water glass. "Um, excuse me. That is NOT true."

"Okay, but it's only from behind, right? Like... vanilla?"

"Okay, not your business, but mostly, and I thoroughly enjoy every second of it."

They both laughed.

"I want to be like you," Becky said. "I want a guy that makes me boring." She giggled. "Is that crazy?"

"Okay, double rude." Hadley reached across the table. "And I'm eating the eel roll since you said that."

"Fair."

Becky smiled at the ceiling for another second. Then went back to her salmon.

Sally was in there somewhere. In the rumpus. In the boring happy she was trying to find words for.

Hadley knew. She didn't say it. She just ate the eel roll.

Characters

Hadley Marsh

31. Senior Product Specialist, Velour Industries. Twice divorced. Pretty, anxious, drinks too much, lives too fast, and is genuinely trying in the way that people who keep failing still try. She burned her second marriage down herself and hasn't forgiven herself for it. Funny without meaning to be. The emotional center of everything.

Blair Covington

Adult entertainment investor and producer. Well-dressed, a little bro-ish, quietly wealthy in the way that doesn't require announcement. The opposite of Hadley in every visible way. Finds her chaos genuinely refreshing. Not chasing anyone. Gets chosen by the right person eventually.

Nace Corbin

Hadley's second ex-husband. Makes latex composites, now for a competing company. Nice. Normal. Boringly fine after everything. Has a new girlfriend who is sweet and completely together. Functions in the story as the mirror Hadley has been avoiding.

The Girlfriend

Nace's new partner. Not a villain. Just aggressively, quietly adequate in all the ways Hadley has never managed. Her niceness is the whole point.

Becky Dominguez (Becky Blows)

OnlyFans favorite, sometime performer, Hadley's best friend and full-time bad influence. Harley Quinn energy meets absolute loyalty. Knows everyone at the convention by name and occasionally by other identifying information. Perfectly comfortable in the most uncomfortable conversations on the convention floor, all three days, without exception. Dresses inappropriately everywhere. Believes in every single one of Hadley's plans without reservation. Writes Sally into everything, even in her sleep. This is the problem. This is also the whole point.

Sally

Becky's girlfriend. Present in the story mostly through Becky's devotion -- the name inserted into children's books mid-dream, the quiet constant underneath all of Becky's chaos. The boring happy Becky is looking for, from the outside in.

Opening Scene

The following is the working first scene, establishing Hadley, Becky, and the arrival of Blair.

The badge around Hadley's neck said Senior Product Specialist, Velour Industries which sounded almost respectable until you read the tagline underneath.

Pleasure. Engineered.

She was staring at it when Becky appeared beside her, already wearing something that violated three probable fire codes, a lanyard, and an expression of complete delight.

"Nace is here," Hadley said.

Becky turned. "Here? But you two are..."

"I know, Beck." Hadley closed her eyes. "That's kind of the problem."

"And he has a girlfriend now."

"Yes."

Becky considered this with the gravity of a woman solving a genuine logistical problem.

"You want me to kill her? Clear the field?"

Hadley stared at her. "What... no. Do you even have parents? Why would you say that?"

"I was being supportive."

A large man moved through the crowd. Built like a door that had been to the gym. He spotted Becky and his whole face opened up.

"Becky!"

"BROCK." Becky threw both arms around him. "Oh my god, you're here!"

"Good to see you." He pulled back, and his eyes drifted sideways. Found Hadley. Stayed there. Something warm and appreciative moved across his face.

Hadley smiled. Started to lift her hand.

"Hi, I'm..."

Becky's palm connected with Brock's chest. Flat. Firm. Final.

"No." Becky didn't even look at him. "Bad Brock. Not yours."

Brock smiled slowly. Raised both hands in surrender.

"Talk later, Beck." He moved back into the crowd without another word.

Hadley watched him go. "Okay. Weird conversation. Care to explain Brock?"

"We were talking about Nace."

"Becky. Brock. The giant beautiful man who just walked away. You hugged him, he has a voice like a thunderstorm, you said talk later. Explain."

Becky waved a hand. "Work friend."

"You're an adult actress."

"Working." Becky pointed at herself. "Friend." She pointed in the direction Brock had gone. "Work friend. Does that help?"

"It genuinely doesn't."

Becky exhaled like Hadley was being deliberately slow.

"He was doing stuff. To me. In a scene. We'll say..." she searched for the right phrasing, "...exploring a third cave on his way to enlightenment."

Hadley stopped walking. "You're making it worse."

"Anal scene. Lasted a minute. He was happy. Left satisfied." Becky gestured broadly. "He won't fit your needs. Does that help explain it?"

"Oh," Hadley said. Then, slower. "Oh."

"Adult convention, Hadley." Becky pointed wildly at everything. The booths. The banners. The lanyards. The people.

An adult entertainer nearby pointed helpfully at herself. Then at the crowd around her. Then at a display behind her with genuine professional pride.

Becky nodded approvingly, grabbed a beautiful woman passing beside her, and kissed her squarely on the mouth.

"DARLA. Oh my god."

The woman pulled back beaming. "BECKY. What has it been?"

"Three months! Girl on girl then guy then girl, I have so much to tell you."

"Right?" Darla grabbed both of Becky's hands. Then looked at her properly. "Oh my god you've lost weight. I love your top."

Hadley stood very still. "Okay so you and her are..."

"Not for you," Becky said without looking.

"She's pretty."

"She's a lesbian."

"I like girls sometimes."

Becky turned fully. Looked at Hadley with something approaching patience.

"Babe. That one likes girls that were guys. Did you see the tattoo? Plus she bites." She patted Hadley's arm. "You need something nicer. Less girth. A two cave situation. Trust me on this."

Hadley laughed despite herself. "I am completely lost."

"You'll learn. Come on."

She turned. Walked directly into a wall.

Except the wall caught her.

Hands. Solid. A suit jacket, open collar, a voice from somewhere above her that said, "Whoa. Hey, sorry, I didn't see you."

A second man appeared at his shoulder, sharp-faced and schedule-conscious.

"We're late, Blair, we really need to..."

The first man raised one hand. Flat. Unhurried. The second man stopped talking.

He looked down at Hadley.

"You okay?"

"Becky." The man's face shifted into something genuine. "Good to see you."

Becky leaned up and hugged him.

"Blair. Didn't know you'd be here."

Hadley processed the name. Blair. She looked at Becky. Looked back at Blair. Tall. Well put together in the effortless way that meant someone else thought about it so he didn't have to. Dark eyes that were currently on her with mild, amused interest.

She thought, very clearly: I want Blair on top of me.

She opened her mouth to introduce herself.

Closed it.

Blair waited.

Becky waited.

Hadley giggled.

"Friend of yours, Beck?"

Hadley giggled again. Felt herself vibrating slightly. Becky's heel connected with her ankle.

The nice man asked you a question, HADLEY.

Hadley stuck out her hand.

"I like it from behind."

The silence lasted exactly one second.

Becky face planted into her own palm.

Blair looked at the man beside him. Then back at Hadley. A slow smile.

"Well. I appreciate the intel. Skips the small talk."

Hadley shrank approximately four inches. Looked desperately at Becky. Becky was staring at the middle distance with the expression of a woman rethinking her life choices.

From somewhere behind them, Darla's voice drifted over.

"...did she just say...?"